The Ten Types Of Republicans
The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute takes an in-depth look at the Republican Party and breaks them down into 10 distinct types. http://www.liebography.com/Car... Transcript (some say the voices are heard to hear)VO: Today's Republican Party is quite diverseAnd spans all walks of life.So grab a chair and sit right down,As we break them down into ten basic types.If you ask Mr. Money Bags about the meaning of lifeHe'll say "Ain't a damn thing funny"Because the only thing that's important to him is"Where's the money? Where's the money? Gimme the money."This millionaire cum billionaireWho favors low low tax ratesWants to keep his wealth all to himselfNot support public programs he hates."To hell with the lower classes", he says"Those people are all worthless cogs!""I need to buy mink-fur-lined toilet seats"And diamond jewelry for all of my dogs!"He also hates the inheritance tax"This policy I oppose!"Because his spoiled daughter needs every last centTo snort it all up her nose.Mr. Warhawk's idea of diplomacy Is yelling "Let's solve everything with war!"Just as long as his kids aren't in the army you seeAnd it's made up of the brown and the poor.He thinks he's a military genius, tooSmarter than Sun Tzu and ol' Colin PowellEven though his only military training's fromWatching "Red Dawn" staring C. Thomas HowellMr. Bibleton is a born again ChristianJust like his best buddy the prezAnd they're both devout believers in ChristOnly...Not so much in what he saysJesus' words of helping the poor and needyAre all right there in the BibleBut if you ask if he believes it's true he'll say"Um... I believe that might be a typo"They care not 'bout Aids in AfricaOr spreading love in the world today.What issue are they most concerned about?"Makin' sure the TV don't turn us gay"And here's Mr. ContrarianHe hates liberal causes and casesIf you say Global Warming melts the polar ice capsThey'll say "No it isn't" til they're blue in the facesHe's often on Yahoo news message boardsTyping in all caps and in the darkOr perhaps you'll find him in HollywoodWriting plot lines for South ParkMr. NRA likes guns more than peopleThat's why (boom boom boom boom)And he (boom boom boom boom boom)(boom boom boom boom boom)...Even though most Americans support gun controland banning cop-killer bullets.In business school Mr. Frat learned thatCorporate group-think is always quite right.Which explains why he's such a super fanOf Dane Cook, Fox News and Coors LightHe hates affirmative action, thoughFor he feels it's a government gyp"People should have get their own damn jobs in the world"Like he did at his dad's hot tub dealership.If forced to pick a political slogan, thoughAnd choose a motto that fitsMr. Frat would think for a moment and sayeither "Woo-hoo!" or "Show us your tits!"Mr. Log Cabin likes spending his time and moneyHelping Republicans campaign to winEven though most of the folks he's voting forThink his existence is a mortal sin.And why is he such a staunch supporterOf a party that so hates his guts?"Because achieving equal rights is less importantThan getting upper bracket tax cuts."Then again, he may be a genius soLet's take all of our criticism back.For he knows if Republicans remain in chargeGay soldiers can't be sent to Iraq.Mr. Numbnuts is a hard working fellowAnd though he ranks among the working poorHe consistently votes for a party that boastsOf killing free health care on the Congressional floorBut is he angry with these rich old menWho say they'll never raise his minimum wage?Well, not while there's plenty of beer and wrestlingTo channel all his misplaced rage.The original minutemen risked their livesDefending us from English imperial powerWhat are today's minutemen defending us from?Busboys making three bucks an hour.Some say they're dedicated patriotsAnd others, an over zealous mobIrregardless someday it'll be more cost effectiveTo hire an illegal to do their job.And last is an Eisenhower RepublicanHe's a fan of fiscal restraintHe's also cautious with military interventionHe knows what's a war and what ain't.He's a thoughtful, decent, honest manWho thinks that in order to win You must be a moderate who unites all people And...Whu-oh, looks like there's no room for him.Yes, the Republican party's an intriguing quiltof politics, personalities and...(rat-a-tat-tat-tat!) All housed together under one giant insane circus tent.
Channel: Film & Animation
Uploaded: October 29, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Author: turbodork
Length: 05:02
Rating: 3.99
Views: 128331
Tags: animation bush cartoon chicken comedy conservative election george GOP hawk liebography neocon NRA politics republican
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